Thursday, February 1, 2007

MY LIST!!! (be very afraid!)

You Know The You Are An Extreme Opera Fan When...

  1. People start asking you why fat women with breast plates fascinate you
  2. You are suddenly compelled to stab every police chief you see
  3. Men with eye patches and many flying daughters suddenly look like gods (oh haha)
  4. You notice that no one knows your favorite singer (the most obvious symptom)
  5. People are shocked and appalled when you laugh at Charlotte Church (5a.) and Andrea Bocelli
  6. You learned all you know about medieval England from Donizetti
  7. Andrew Lloyd Webber seems like a joke
  8. People calling some Broadway shows operas sets you off
  9. You start correcting the singers' staging
  10. You can name all the arias that are played on TV commercials
  11. Everyone else seems to have a different definition for "diva"
  12. "Going insane" means killing your husband and crashing a wedding party in a bloody night-gown
  13. Hearing a canon makes you scream "Va, Tosca!"
  14. It's normal for 50-year-olds to play teenage brides
  15. You find yourself making up opera related phrases. The one I use the most is "Oh holy mother of Puccini!"
  16. Hearing a voice that sounds like it belongs to a 20-year-old, looking up the singer, and finding out that they are either 80-years-old or dead is part of your daily routine
  17. You actually know what voice category "Ombra Mai Fu" is really sung in
  18. You find yourself speaking in foreign languages at random points in the day. Most popular with me are... "Bravo/a" "Pace, pace" "Per pieta!" (sometimes continued with "ben mio perdona!") "Dove sono??" (almost always followed by "i biei momenti") "O! Mio Dio!!" "Si, si! Ci voglio andare!" "Poverina" "Andiamo" and "Marie Theres'" when I'm sad. =)
  19. "Vendetta" truly looks sweet. You are frequently compelled to hire a bass just to kill some nobleman (who you probably don't even know, unless you're his jester)
  20. Riddles are a life or death situation
  21. Handel's "Orlando" no longer seems obscure
  22. You develop your own opinions instead of stealing other peoples
  23. You can sing every part in "Tosca" without looking at any paper
  24. You can correct your music teacher.
  25. You can tell your friend whose learning about opera in school what composers they talked about (Mozart, Puccini, and Verdi), what operas they talked about (La Boheme, Rigoletto, Le Nozze di Figaro) and what arias they listened to (Che Gelida Manina, Si Mi Chiamano Mimi, La Donna e Mobile, and Figaro's Overture). You also know that Pavarotti sang both tenor arias. (this actually happened to me, I'm not kidding. =] silly me)
  26. You look forward to the next Rolex Ad (thank you leslie!)
  27. You can name more than Three Tenors
  28. Whenever someone (especially yourself) coughs, you immediately assume it's consumption and break out sobbing and sing "AH! M'AMI ALFREDO!!!!"

(dedicated to Jenn, LaSala, Leslie, Emily, and Ms. Shirreffs)

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